Push

The number of changes that are about to happen are beginning to overwhelm me.  I try to just breathe through it, push my thoughts aside, push through all the hurt, the fear, the excitement.  I've become a melting pot of emotions.  I was banking on a job I had applied for, I had everything planned out in my head, but even though they wanted to give me the job they couldn't because of a silly technicality that doesn't make any sense, something out of everyone's control.  A big game changer.

This week I'm moving out with Bear and Lila, because somehow even though he is the one that asked for the divorce, I'm the one who moves out, I'm the bad guy. Whatever. Moving on.  I'm scared, but excited for this new beginning.

Next week I say goodbye to my kiddos at work, some that I've cared for the past 3 years.  I can't even begin to express how I feel about saying goodbye to them.  It's heart breaking, I love them all so much.

The week after that I will be getting 8 new babies at work, a whole new start to another 3 year adventure with little ones.  With a new teaching partner who has been so great, I really have lucked out.  I'm looking forward to starting out with a whole new group.

Then Lila will be starting to go to child care where Bear currently goes to school.  She will be in the infant room, meeting 7 new friends, getting to know 2 teachers and learning a ton about the world around her.

THEN BEAR STARTS KINDERGARTEN! AAAHHH!! Which really just tops it all off, it scares the crap out of me. I know he's ready...I've spent thousands in high quality care for him and pre-k so I know he's more than ready.  I'm just not sure how everything is going to pan out with all the changes going on.

I have so many questions floating in my head.  I am full of so many frustrations I want to explode.