Date Nite

Nearly 6 years ago I met a guy who I hope is part of my life for the rest of my life.  He has blonde hair, blue eyes, a great sense of humor and I fell in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him.  Tonight he and I went on a date and it was by far the best date I have ever been on.  Oh, and his name...it's Colbert. Haha.

First off I picked him up from the bus stop, he RAN to the car; "Come on Mom! Let's start our date night!!" His level of excitement was equivalent to Christmas.  I was shocked.  And so thankful I took time off work to give us more time together.  Lila was able to spend time with her dad so that Bear and I could hang out together, just the two of us.  Bear got to choose what we did for the evening, he chose to go to the park first.  Choosing which park was a very involved decision, there's so many parks in our town and each one has their perks.  We discussed the various options, and finally decided to swing by the one he couldn't recall going to but I knew he liked it.  We went to the In Town Park...seriously, that's the name of it, there's also another park called the Out of Town Park.  So we spent about an hour there, despite being way too cold.  Bear has finally mustered up the courage to let me push him hard on the swings, he has made such progress on getting out of his shell and experiencing new things. I thought for sure when he told me to push him as high as I could that he would freak out when I held on and ran forward making him go up above me in the air. 

After the park we went to dinner.  We went to have sushi, which he had last tried when he was little and didn't remember it.  He liked it then but knowing his likes and dislikes now I made sure to order terryaki chicken as well just in case.  He loved the cooked sushi, which I know doesn't really count, but whatever.  We had the entire restaurant to ourselves, so I didn't care that he couldn't hold still for more than 5 seconds or that he would burst into random extremely loud laughter.  We just fully enjoyed our meal at the pace and in the way that he wanted.  It was more fun than any other date I've ever been on, that's for sure.  He was such a trooper willing to try anything, except when I asked him to try one thing, to which his response was "I could eat a lot of things, but there's no way I'm eating that salad." Bahaha...such a salad hater.  Can't say I blame him, I tried a bite and it was gross enough that I didn't even bother encouraging him to try some.  Radishes and cilantro just should not be in a salad together.  In a moment of eating silence he pipes up "Mom, I really really REALLY like today, this is the best day of my life."

Once dinner was over I asked him what's next.  He asked what his choices were, I told him we could go to another park or we could go back home and play Disney Infinity together.  Infinity won.  Which I was secretly thankful for because it was so flippin cold with the wind blowing like crazy.  We played Infinity for a while, shot each other repeatedly in a paintball gun match.  It was a blast.

I unfortunately won't be able to have these kinds of dates often, but I'm hoping for now that Bear and I can get back on the same page of love that he desires and maintain it by doing the above things when I can.  I want him to know he's worth the effort.

Love Lila More

"Mom, do you love Delilah more than me?"
Instantly tears swelled in my eyes, my chest became constricted making it difficult to breathe, my whole body felt as though it suddenly weighed a thousand pounds.
"No! No no no, Colbert. I love you just as much as Delilah. *embracing him tightly* Why do you think you feel that way?" Trying to calm myself down
"I don't know.  ... Because she is so cute and always so happy." He says in the most genuine heartfelt tone I've ever heard come out of his little voice box.
"Honey, no, I definitely do not love Delilah more. I don't want you to feel like I love her more. Can we think of some ways to fix this feeling together?"
*nods his head yes* still cuddled up close to me as humanly possible.
"Hmm, well my Bear, when do you feel loved?"
"When we cuddle like this, and when we go to the park, and when we play Disney Infinity together. ... And we go to dinner."
"Alright, well how about we have a date, just you and me. I will ask your Dad to watch Delilah for an evening so you and I can spend time together. Just the two of us. How does that sound?"
With a smile of love in repair on his face he says "That sounds really good. Can you ask Dad now?"
"Of course. I will also have to see if I can get off work early so we can go to the park when the sun is still up."
"Ok, that's a good idea. I love you, Mom"
"I love you too, Colbert."

I thought I had been doing so well balancing time with the two of them. Making sure to have time with him as Delilah naps. But he is right, we don't go places just the two of us like we use to. It breaks my heart to hear that he feels this way. Now I'll be extra conscious of having time for just him and I. It has been rough these past 9 months, always having Delilah so he couldn't just have me to himself.  Hopefully this all can be remedied.