Huge

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Over a year ago I was introduced to a family that was unlike anything I could imagine.  I met a little girl who for the first time I wanted nothing more than to pick up and run as far as I could go.  The home was unlike anything I've ever seen.  It rocked every belief I have to it's core.  I'll never forget the smell, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled.  Smelled like urine, feces, raid, hint of gasoline, and other indescribable smells that I imagine could only be smelled at a garbage dump.  I've only ever seen a cockroach in isolated incidents, so seeing many many roaches all at once was a whole new ball game.  It wasn't the cockroach that changed my life, it's what it reminds me of that changed my life.  Despite the conditions of that home, for reasons I don't understand, the case worker felt that it wasn't worth removing the child from her home.  According to the report, cockroaches do not serve as a health risk.  I spent 28 weeks going to this home, each week for at least an hour.  The carpet was so gross I wouldn't recommend anyone sit on it.  I brought a table cloth with me each day, saying that it was a tummy time mat for the baby.  The baby's mother had the mind of an 8 year old, at best, how on earth she was even allowed to take a child home is beyond what I at the time could comprehend.
Finally the day came that the child was removed from the home.  Things finally got bad enough that it was in the best interest of the child to be removed.  The social worker described to me the conditions of the home, after I had stopped visiting for 12 weeks (the child became a center based child, so she was in my classroom instead) the home had severely worsened.  I was then scared for that child, knowing that she would be taken from her mother who she loved so much, regardless of how neglectful her mother unintentionally was.  Once that child was placed into long term foster care things got better with time.  Initially she spent her days and nights crying to the point of throwing up.  Except for when she was in our care, when she came to school she was the beautiful peaceful girl I knew...full of anxiety, but in my eyes amazing.  Her development is delayed significantly in every area, but since she's been in foster care her social-emotional development has soared, as has every other aspect of her development.  The change in this child's life showed me first hand that nurture can overcome nature.
I've never loved a child other than my own so much that I wish I could adopt her.  This child is the exception to the rule.
There's so much about this experience that has changed me.  In so many ways already, and I know it will continue to change me as time goes on.