Both Ways

Duress impacts relationships in one of two ways.  It either tears people apart or strengthens their connection, binding them tightly in a common objective.

The relationships in my life have gone both ways.  It seems that family, those that I am blood related to, I have mostly lost.  However the bonds with friends have grown stronger, as well as other family that I certainly wasn't born with.  I use to think that you're supposed to have your family's backs, no matter what.  That was a mistaken understanding on my part.  There are many things in life that I learned much, much, earlier than the majority of my peers.  One I wish I had learned was the balance...no, the difference...of helping and enabling family.

My brothers had it right.  They ran for the hills as soon as they could.  For whatever reason I didn't learn from their example and follow suit.  You'd think after the years of admiring my brothers and their accomplishments I would have at least had the brains to follow their most intelligent maneuver, leaving their family and never looking back.

As far as regrets go, there's nothing in life I regret doing.  Everything I did, I did with good intentions.  However, what I do regret are the many things I did not do out of fear of an unfavorable outcome.  I play it safe. Something that I tried to change nearly two years ago.  To come out of my comfort zone, take risks, make mistakes.

Unfortunately every risk I took, turned out even worse than anticipated.  Especially the one I took a year ago.

Now I am on a Bear Hunt, as a turtle hiding in it's shell once again.  I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that a bear vs a turtle, isn't a fight anyone would place bets on.  Guess this bear hunt isn't just about hunting. It's about a turtle, turning into something other than a turtle, something that stands a chance against a bear.